However, this importance of marriage often leads to the placement of heavy expectations on the young people of the church. The expectation is often that one should be married in their early 20s so they fit that image of the "typical" Christian and can begin a family in the near future. Unfortunately, this leads to many young people questioning their self-worth when they remain single into their mid-to-late 20s and into their 30s. Women often feel that they are not valuable enough to be taken as a wife by any man. Men see it as though they are just simply incompatible with women. This frustration usually leads down dark roads laced with sin and self-hatred.
In reality, the average age of marriage is around 26 for women and 28 for men. College, establishing careers and socializing have taken a priority over marriage in today's society. The biggest reason is that marriage demand a lot of TIME.
That being said, marriage is not a commandment and not being married (or being in a serious relationship) gives you a lot of extra time. How you use this time is where the blessings of singleness will stem from. The Apostle Paul alludes to this 1 Corinthians 7:6-9. As of this writing, I myself am still single and have been using this time to focus on pharmacy and faith. God constantly uses this time as teaching moments for my sanctification. Here are some of the benefits I have seen and things I recommend doing while waiting:
Get More Involved In A Church
Regardless of relationship status, this should be one of the things every Christian should be doing. In the context of singleness, not only does it bring us closer to God, but it also distracts us from the downsides of singleness (loneliness, temptation, etc.). You can read more on my thoughts about getting involved in churches and Christ-centered communities here: https://godlinessismanliness.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-cure-for-loneliness.html
Form Meaningful Relationships
As romantic relationships or marriage eat into your time, one of the first things on the cutting floor is friendships. Some of my once closest friends are now extremely distant due to their extreme lack of time. However, the times we spent together were meaningful and memorable. We sharpened each other spiritually and supplied each other with good companionship. Despite the lack of current association with them, those memories are wonderful and make the few times we meet up all the more valuable.
That being said, if you are single, take this time to make friends. The time to grow and enjoy these friendships will eventually disappear, so don't waste your time looking only for romantic relationships. Proverbs 27:9-10 describes friendship as "sweetness" stemming from "earnest council" and encourages us to seek help from a true friend rather than our own family in our times of need. While you have time, take advantage of this gift. It may only be available in this season of your life.
Go On A Mission Trip
This is becoming more common for younger Christians. While they are young, jobless and single, more and more are choosing to commit to what could be seen as the ultimate expression of faith. Mission trips require a ton of time (obviously) but are absolutely crucial for completion of the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) and one would be hard pressed to find a better use of their time. I've been told by many that everyone should seriously consider going on at least one mission during their life, as it really deepens one faith. Your current season of singleness is definitely the opportune time to complete one, though it may not be the last time. If you think you would ever like to do one, I'd recommend looking into it now.
Study Scripture and Start a Ministry
I may be biased, but I don't think that there could be a better use of your "single time" than spreading the gospel. I didn't start this blog because I was single, but as I reflect, I realize that was huge factor in helping me sustain it. If you don't have the resources or desire to complete a mission (like me) then another way to satisfy the Great Commission would be to find ways to spread the gospels among your community (like me). There are numerous ways to do this: online, at work, at family gatherings, actually getting ordained and starting a real ministry (unlike me). In order to spread the gospel, one needs to know all about it. This is where utilizing your free time to study scripture can bear fruit. Not only does it reconcile you to the Father, but it allows you to be conduit for Gospel through your actions and words.
Final Thoughts
As you should hopefully now see, singleness is not a punishment. It is, pardon the cliche, what you make of it. Throughout our lives, we are presented with situations and truths that will seem negative. However, we can take these situations and find joy by giving them to God to use for His glory. Paul, while imprisoned, wrote about finding joy in hardship. In fact, he used two year of imprisonment to write letters to the many churches he established and minister to the Romans. The entire book of Philippians is written to show the church of Philippi that they are the source of his joy and encourage them in their spreading of the gospel. If Paul could find this joy being trapped for two years in the same room, we should be able to find joy in our time of singleness. There is so much that could be used by God if we would allow him. Therefore, I invite you to pray this prayer:
"Father, the current state of my life has left me unsatisfied. I desire the gifts of marriage but I am not
there yet in my life. Please help me to make the best of my life now as Paul did. Help me to identify areas in my life where I could glorify You. Help me find joy in my salvation and not seek it anywhere else, as You are the author of all things good. Amen."
- Jake
Comments
Post a Comment