One of today's greatest paradoxes is that as connectivity increases, loneliness also increases.Today, there are more ways to communicate with people from all over the world and yet the rate of depression is at an all-time high. Seems backward, doesn't it? We are technically less lonely, but have somehow become the loneliest society in human history.
But surely, Christians aren't subject to this emotional plague, right? Despite the joyful persona that the rest of the world thinks we are supposed to have, I have met very few Christians that have not admitted to struggling with loneliness. The ones that said they hadn't were likely denying it because of the idea that "Christians shouldn't feel alone." Some even use it as a form of spiritual litmus test. They believe that loneliness is the punishment for sin or a sign of spiritual weakness. Clearly, we have taken the wrong approach. So, how do we correct ourselves and finally vanquish loneliness?
The first step is to understand that Christians can be lonely; in fact, it is a routine part of the Christian life. There is a lot of examples in the Bible of God's people facing loneliness. Jesus himself was alone on the night he was betrayed (Mark 14) and was then forsaken on the cross by God himself (Mark 15:34). Job's family died and his friends abandoned him. Many of the Psalm's were written in times of David's despair that sprouted from loneliness. It is perfectly normal to experience loneliness and God tends to do great works out of loneliness. God forsook Jesus on the cross so that we could be grafted into His family. God used Job's loneliness to humble him before blessing him twice of what he had before. God used David's loneliness to inspire scripture that strengthens the hearts of Christians today.
Loneliness is a tool that God can use, but it is not the way that He wants us to live our lives. That does not make loneliness a punishment or indicator of "weak Christianity." I am saddened by how many believers have adopted this way of thinking. These misconceptions are a byproduct of the false "Health and Wealth" gospels created by "pastors" like Joel Olsteen, Jim Bakker (pre-imprisonment) or Jesse Duplantis. They make it seem as though the Christian life is a cake walk in which everything is wonderful as long as you are spiritually strong and giving 20% of your salary to the church (this is not an attack on their faith, but rather their rather heretical doctrines; I am not their judge).
Now that we know that loneliness is something all Christians must endure, how do we confront it? It's actually rather simple: community. Instead of making a theological argument, I think it would be more effective to just tell part of my story.
My life has been characterized by loneliness, even after becoming a Christian. Growing up, I never really had real friends. Like everyone, I had friends that were made from being in the same classroom, but those changed from year to year as class schedules changed. Also, none of those friends were true friends that I could tell anything and confide in. I eventually found those kind of friends, even though they were bad influences. However, I still struggled with loneliness. So I thought what I needed was a romantic relationship. I have still never been in a serious dating relationship, but I have "courted" a few girls, as the old folks would say. I still did not find a decrease in loneliness. Then, I went off to college and had to find new people to befriend, so I did. When I accepted Christ, I thought I would finally feel no form of loneliness, and I was right, until all my friends, past and present, abandoned me like Job.
Some time after joining RUF, I had made new friends and I wasn't as lonely, but it was still present. After discussion with the RUF intern at the time (who I would consider one of my closest friends), he told me some things that I had in the back of my mind the whole time. I had been right all along. Friends, organizations and romance are all cures for loneliness, but only if they are formed in the light of Christ. The cure for loneliness is Christ-centered communities.
Being a pharmacy student, I love two things: diagrams and physiology. Luckily, I feel like I can use these two things to paint a picture of the importance of community in the Christian life. Cardiology is one of the highest grossing areas of medicine for good reason: the heart is one of the most important organs of the body. God even places great value on the heart, as evident in the scriptures. The heart's main function is to pump oxygenated blood to all tissues in the body so that they can survive and grow. In essence, the heart is the organ sustains life and can even determine how well we thrive. Additionally, blood can be seen as our source of life. The heart is split into four parts: the right atrium, right ventricle, left atrium and left ventricle. All parts must work in order for the heart to supply enough blood to sustain life; failure of any chamber could lead to death quickly. The allegorical Christian heart has the same chambers, but they are ran by our relationships. Failure of these chambers leads to a kind of emotional death, which is usually loneliness.
Blood returns to the heart through veins, with the superior vena cava being the vein that connects directly to the heart. The first chamber that the blood enters is the right atrium. The Bible uses the illustration that the Christian life begins when Jesus enters one's heart. I like to imagine that He resides in the right atrium because it is the gatekeeper of the heart. It is the chamber that pools all the "lifeless" de-oxygenated blood and sets it on the path to being revitalized (oxygenated), similar to the way that He finds us in our sin, gathers us from our sins and sets on the path to righteousness.
The next chamber is the right ventricle, which compresses the blood and sends it to lungs to be oxygenated. Our friendships are the right ventricle of our lives: they help us stay together by keeping us accountable and give us joy, which revitalizes us.
Next is the left atrium which receives the oxygenated blood from the lungs and has some of the lowest pressures in the heart. This chamber can represent our family relationships. Our families, be it parents or significant others, keep us more accountable than our friends, but they do it without the pressure of maintaining a friend. Our family will love us more than our friends, no matter what we do. This is often the part of the Christian heart that fails the most. Not every Christian has a literal family. Many of us are estranged from our parents or lack in the romantic department. However, as Christians we have been grafted into a larger family: the royal family of God the Father.
The final chamber is the left ventricle, which has the highest pressure in the heart, as it needs the pressure to propel the blood into the aorta and throughout the body. This chamber is occupied by the organizations that we choose to be a part of. Whether it be a church or a campus ministry, these organizations allow us to project our lives to others so that we can revitalize others, just as the oxygenated blood propelled from the left ventricle revitalizes our tissues.
Despite the biblical and societal evidence of the benefits of community in the Christian life, many Christians still seem to neglect their need for it. One of the most common reasons I have heard is that they believe God will comfort them and that they don't need anything else. While this sounds like the right response to loneliness, it's only half correct. God is absolutely the solution to our loneliness, but God doesn't just appear and physically comfort us. The bible says several times that God will comfort us in our sorrows, but the verse means that God will use different tools to accomplish this. The main tool that he uses is other Christians and the best way to meet other Christians is through Christ-centered communities.
As always, the Bible provides more wisdom and insight than any man or woman ever could. Here are some verses that emphasize the importance of community:
I John 1:7
Proverbs 27:17
Romans 1:12
Romans 12:5
I Thessalonians 5:11
The whole book of Philippians
Loneliness is something that everyone experiences in life, Christian or not. College is an extremely lonely time in life and hopefully this article and the biblical truths included in it can help you overcome the pain of loneliness. As with most things, look to Jesus first and then to His people. Peace be with y'all!
But surely, Christians aren't subject to this emotional plague, right? Despite the joyful persona that the rest of the world thinks we are supposed to have, I have met very few Christians that have not admitted to struggling with loneliness. The ones that said they hadn't were likely denying it because of the idea that "Christians shouldn't feel alone." Some even use it as a form of spiritual litmus test. They believe that loneliness is the punishment for sin or a sign of spiritual weakness. Clearly, we have taken the wrong approach. So, how do we correct ourselves and finally vanquish loneliness?
The first step is to understand that Christians can be lonely; in fact, it is a routine part of the Christian life. There is a lot of examples in the Bible of God's people facing loneliness. Jesus himself was alone on the night he was betrayed (Mark 14) and was then forsaken on the cross by God himself (Mark 15:34). Job's family died and his friends abandoned him. Many of the Psalm's were written in times of David's despair that sprouted from loneliness. It is perfectly normal to experience loneliness and God tends to do great works out of loneliness. God forsook Jesus on the cross so that we could be grafted into His family. God used Job's loneliness to humble him before blessing him twice of what he had before. God used David's loneliness to inspire scripture that strengthens the hearts of Christians today.
Loneliness is a tool that God can use, but it is not the way that He wants us to live our lives. That does not make loneliness a punishment or indicator of "weak Christianity." I am saddened by how many believers have adopted this way of thinking. These misconceptions are a byproduct of the false "Health and Wealth" gospels created by "pastors" like Joel Olsteen, Jim Bakker (pre-imprisonment) or Jesse Duplantis. They make it seem as though the Christian life is a cake walk in which everything is wonderful as long as you are spiritually strong and giving 20% of your salary to the church (this is not an attack on their faith, but rather their rather heretical doctrines; I am not their judge).
Now that we know that loneliness is something all Christians must endure, how do we confront it? It's actually rather simple: community. Instead of making a theological argument, I think it would be more effective to just tell part of my story.
My life has been characterized by loneliness, even after becoming a Christian. Growing up, I never really had real friends. Like everyone, I had friends that were made from being in the same classroom, but those changed from year to year as class schedules changed. Also, none of those friends were true friends that I could tell anything and confide in. I eventually found those kind of friends, even though they were bad influences. However, I still struggled with loneliness. So I thought what I needed was a romantic relationship. I have still never been in a serious dating relationship, but I have "courted" a few girls, as the old folks would say. I still did not find a decrease in loneliness. Then, I went off to college and had to find new people to befriend, so I did. When I accepted Christ, I thought I would finally feel no form of loneliness, and I was right, until all my friends, past and present, abandoned me like Job.
Some time after joining RUF, I had made new friends and I wasn't as lonely, but it was still present. After discussion with the RUF intern at the time (who I would consider one of my closest friends), he told me some things that I had in the back of my mind the whole time. I had been right all along. Friends, organizations and romance are all cures for loneliness, but only if they are formed in the light of Christ. The cure for loneliness is Christ-centered communities.
Being a pharmacy student, I love two things: diagrams and physiology. Luckily, I feel like I can use these two things to paint a picture of the importance of community in the Christian life. Cardiology is one of the highest grossing areas of medicine for good reason: the heart is one of the most important organs of the body. God even places great value on the heart, as evident in the scriptures. The heart's main function is to pump oxygenated blood to all tissues in the body so that they can survive and grow. In essence, the heart is the organ sustains life and can even determine how well we thrive. Additionally, blood can be seen as our source of life. The heart is split into four parts: the right atrium, right ventricle, left atrium and left ventricle. All parts must work in order for the heart to supply enough blood to sustain life; failure of any chamber could lead to death quickly. The allegorical Christian heart has the same chambers, but they are ran by our relationships. Failure of these chambers leads to a kind of emotional death, which is usually loneliness.
Blood returns to the heart through veins, with the superior vena cava being the vein that connects directly to the heart. The first chamber that the blood enters is the right atrium. The Bible uses the illustration that the Christian life begins when Jesus enters one's heart. I like to imagine that He resides in the right atrium because it is the gatekeeper of the heart. It is the chamber that pools all the "lifeless" de-oxygenated blood and sets it on the path to being revitalized (oxygenated), similar to the way that He finds us in our sin, gathers us from our sins and sets on the path to righteousness.
The next chamber is the right ventricle, which compresses the blood and sends it to lungs to be oxygenated. Our friendships are the right ventricle of our lives: they help us stay together by keeping us accountable and give us joy, which revitalizes us.
Next is the left atrium which receives the oxygenated blood from the lungs and has some of the lowest pressures in the heart. This chamber can represent our family relationships. Our families, be it parents or significant others, keep us more accountable than our friends, but they do it without the pressure of maintaining a friend. Our family will love us more than our friends, no matter what we do. This is often the part of the Christian heart that fails the most. Not every Christian has a literal family. Many of us are estranged from our parents or lack in the romantic department. However, as Christians we have been grafted into a larger family: the royal family of God the Father.
The final chamber is the left ventricle, which has the highest pressure in the heart, as it needs the pressure to propel the blood into the aorta and throughout the body. This chamber is occupied by the organizations that we choose to be a part of. Whether it be a church or a campus ministry, these organizations allow us to project our lives to others so that we can revitalize others, just as the oxygenated blood propelled from the left ventricle revitalizes our tissues.
Despite the biblical and societal evidence of the benefits of community in the Christian life, many Christians still seem to neglect their need for it. One of the most common reasons I have heard is that they believe God will comfort them and that they don't need anything else. While this sounds like the right response to loneliness, it's only half correct. God is absolutely the solution to our loneliness, but God doesn't just appear and physically comfort us. The bible says several times that God will comfort us in our sorrows, but the verse means that God will use different tools to accomplish this. The main tool that he uses is other Christians and the best way to meet other Christians is through Christ-centered communities.
As always, the Bible provides more wisdom and insight than any man or woman ever could. Here are some verses that emphasize the importance of community:
I John 1:7
Proverbs 27:17
Romans 1:12
Romans 12:5
I Thessalonians 5:11
The whole book of Philippians
Loneliness is something that everyone experiences in life, Christian or not. College is an extremely lonely time in life and hopefully this article and the biblical truths included in it can help you overcome the pain of loneliness. As with most things, look to Jesus first and then to His people. Peace be with y'all!
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