As human beings we all have our weaknesses; chips in our 'armor' if you will. Ephesians 6:10-18 (often referred to as the 'Armor of God' passage) even acknowledges that the 'armor' will help us 'withstand' evil but not escape untouched. Most of the time, we are doing kingdom work: sharing the gospel with nonbelievers, praying for each other, reading the Bible daily, etc. However, we all have that one thing that we can't seem to shake. When we first became Christians, we knew that God saved us from our big sins. He would help us stop our addictions or our sexual desires. However, we fail to recognize that those past transgressions will be used against us again. While the blood of Jesus covered and removed the stain of sin from our souls and thus absolving them from God's memory, Satan never forgot. Our enemy has already taken notes of our soft spots and knows that's where the 'armor' will be weakest. When the first sign of trouble appears, he tempts us with familiar aroma of temporary pleasure.
This is all bad news. How can we become Christlike when sin is so deeply seeded in our hearts? To quote one of my favorite contemporary hymns: "Our sins they are many, his mercy is more." Know that God's mercy and grace are infinite and transcend the sin of this world. When we take this truth into account, we can rid ourselves of the overwhelming guilt of our 'secret sin' and bring it before an Almighty God. Now we can begin to look at the practical steps we can take to break the cycle and live more like God intended.
#1 Admit that you have a problem
Unsurprisingly, this is often the hardest step for most people. Like with those dealing with an addiction, it is hard to tell you have a problem when the onset is gradual. You turn to this sin once a week (while saying you'll never do it again after each instance), then it's twice a week, and before you know it, you are giving into temptation daily. Luckily the Holy Spirit, the third member of the Holy Trinity, was given to us upon the justification of our faith ('Saved' if you are Baptist) and through it, we can feel conviction for our sins (John 16:13). If you are feeling remorse, anxiety or general unease about an action that you are resorting to, it is likely sin because those are the clinical symptoms of conviction. Once you know that you are committing sin, then you can proceed.
Sometimes, we realize we have a problem, yet we seek to justify our actions. In my four years of leadership in RUF, I heard it all. I'd ask if there were anything my fellow members were struggling with and they would state their 'secret' sin and immediately try to play it down. For example, I would often hear things like "I struggle with porn, but at least I'm not actually having sex with anyone" or "I'm cheating on my girlfriend, but we aren't married so we don't have a high level of commitment to each other." God hates sin and any reason you can give is insufficient when He seeks to use His power to heal you of your addictions. Every time you deflect the severity of your transgressions, you devalue the significance of Jesus's death on the cross. Remember this the next time you try and justify sin.
#2 Ask God for assistance
This is the natural reaction we have to sin and that is a correct response. However, we often fall short in our desire for mercy. Our prayers of repentance often go like this: "Hey God, it's me again. I did that thing again and I just want to let you know I'm sorry. I'll try reeeeeally hard to not do it again. Thanks, amen." David, who committed maybe the most notorious secret sin in the Bible, set the precedent for how we ought to repent. In Psalm 51, David is basically pleading with God as if he is on his death bed. He uses intense language such as "purge me" and "blot out my iniquities." You can feel the remorse in his word choice. We don't have to say the right words when we repent, but we should use the same sentiment. We should be pleading with God like our lives depend on it and technically our eternal life does. When you give into temptation or realize how big of a problem you have, you should cry out to God with urgency. Our sin should disgust us and our prayers should reflect it.
#3 Tell a friend
Part of the reason your choice sin is secret is because you don't want someone to know what you do in darkest moments. Pornography is gross, cheaters are rebuked and addicts are belittled. These sins would demolish your public image but realize we all do things in solitude. Jeremiah described the human heart as 'deceitful above all things' and 'desperately sick' (Jeremiah 17:9). The majority of young men struggle with pornography, 46% of people have cheated on their significant other and 6 out of 10 Americans have turned to substance abuse of some kind to cope. It is still sin, but you are not alone in your fight against it. Odds are that when you confide in your friend, you will find that he needs your prayers as well. When I was a new Christian, I was a part of an accountability group with 5 other young Christians where we would pray with each other and encourage each other to be better. The Psalmist realized this in Psalms 27:17 and Paul encouraged the congregation nearly every church he wrote to confide in each other.
#4 Cut yourself off from the source
As the old adage goes "If you play with fire, you'll get burned." This step is less biblical and more common sense (though Proverbs 7 will back me up). Sins often have triggers associated with them and these triggers get more sensitive when we are stressed. For example, you may be having a pre-marital sexual relationship. In this case, you can say this person is the trigger or you may recognize that there are a few songs that set the mood. If you and your boo avoid listening to those songs, there is no sexual tension. Therefore, you should probably avoid listening to those songs, break up with that person or just get married. The point is, if you can identify what makes the temptation of sin irresistible, avoid it or remove it from you life. The engine can't start if there is not a key to put in the ignition.
#5 Create an abstinence plan
This really just comes along with the previous steps. This is not a battle, it's a war. You will face temptation multiple times a day, but if you have done everything right up to this point and keep the sacrifice of Jesus close to heart, then you will not fall to temptation and the longer you go, the easier it gets. When you know ahead of time that there will be something that may cause you to slip back into the cycle, find a strategy to avoid it. If you struggle with drugs and alcohol abuse, don't go partying. If you struggle with pornography, take up hobbies and go on adventures to keep you away from your computer screen as much as possible. Occasionally, there will be instances where the triggers may be unavoidable. This where you get to do something profound: pray. Cry out to God in your heart for protection from your past failures. We are not stronger than sin, but God is so asking for His assistance is the only option. You'll become stronger for it.
Conclusion
Sin is a tricky subject for a lot of us. Churches teach that God saves us from sin but fails too often to teach about the inevitable reintroduction of sin. Our sanctification is dependent on our struggle with sin AFTER coming to faith in Christ. The struggle does not end in our lifetime and many are discouraged when they learn this. When you overcome your current sin cycle, you likely be presented with another at some point down the line. Luckily, God is rich in love and mercy and knows we will fail. Educate yourself in grace and mercy and be steadfast in seeking God to keep yourself from becoming discouraged and falling of the path. By doing that and following the steps I presented in this article, you can overcome your current battle with sin. It's possible though it may not seem like it now.
May the Lord bless you and keep you; may His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance and give you peace. Amen.
-Jake
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