When I was growing up, I always viewed cowboys as the pinnacle of manhood. My dad always watched an hour of westerns in the morning before going to work, so the first thing my tired eyes seen in the morning was usually Matt Dillon and Festus keeping peace in Dodge City. This continued until I was in high school, so seeing my dad look up to these fictional cowboys made me look up to them as well and I always viewed them as men's men, with John Wayne being the ultimate man. To me, manhood was synonymous with packing a gun, having perfect stubble, being lean, talking with a lot of grit and having a killer survival instinct.
The Bible, however, paints a very different picture of what a man should be: kind, gentle, forgiving self-controlled, hospitable and pure. This is the exact opposite of what today's culture claims a man should be. Men today strive to be an "alpha male": harsh, detached, greedy and immoral. These stereotypes are perpetuated throughout culture. Society pushes the narrative that men need be like James Bond or Bruce Wayne. Since these "alpha male" characteristics are celebrated by the media and society at large, they have become the standard for manhood. Men strive to be strong, violent and detached animals, while women have become attracted to these characteristics because the world says this is what a real man is. These character traits have been the spearhead for the domestic abuse epidemic that has swept the nation over the last few decades. Based on 2018 statistics from the National Center Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 20 people are assaulted by an intimate partner every minute. 1 in 4 women have been abused by their male partners. Domestic violence accounts for 15% of all crime.
Clearly, this is not the way God intended for men to be. He intended for men to be like his son Jesus. For most Christians, they know the characteristics of Jesus. However, for new Christians and nonbelievers, the best place to find these characteristics are in 1 Timothy. In this passage, Paul lays out the defining characteristics of a godly man: desperation for Jesus, godliness, purity, self-control, hospitality, financial stability, gentleness, forgiveness and a heart for teaching.
First of all, a man needs to be desperate for Jesus (1 Tim 1;13-14). Paul explains that through Christ he has been given a new lease on life. Before his conversion, he openly persecuted Christians and ultimately Christ out of ignorance. However, after his conversion he has been filled with faith and love. In order to emulate these other characteristics of manhood, one must find Christ so that he may by given a new heart. Without love and faith, a man cannot be pure, self-controlled, hospitable or gentle.
In 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Paul outlines the other characteristics of a godly man. These all stem from the love that is given through Christ. The first is godliness. This part of the book is written to outline what a pastor should be like, but it applies to all men. We should be as godly as we would expect our pastor to be. Though we may not be preaching sermons, we all are ambassadors to Christ. We may not profess Christ with our mouths, but we can profess him through our actions. Thus, we should abstain from things that would be seen as things a Christians should not be doing. God gives us a conscience for this reason.
Purity is an important part of manhood. Paul phrases it as "a husband of one wife," but today's culture faces more impurities. We should be in monogamous relationships, but we should avoid all forms of sexually immorality. These include things that everyone knows is wrong, but a lot of them are normalized by society today. Basically, look back to 1950s morals: abstain from premarital sex, infidelity, pornography, etc.
Self-control should come natural to all men, but it is becoming less common with each generation. As men, we need to be able to be accountable for every word we say and every action we commit. Most abuse results from lack of control. Paul mentions mental sobriety and drunkenness in this passage as well. These are branches of the tree of self-control. If you cannot control yourself, abstain from alcohol and anything else that can be detrimental to your salvation and others if used incorrectly.
Hospitality is usually seen as the duty of women. Conservative thinkers see this as an excuse to make women prepare the home, but men have been called to this as well. As Christians we should commune with others in our homes as Matthew entertained Jesus in his home. Hospitality is a way to profess Christ through our actions. I have heard countless testimonies about how someone was drawn to the faith because a Christian invited them into their home and showed them the love of Christ. However, hospitality is not limited to the home. We can show the same hospitality in public to others by means of charity. These are all ways to show the love of Christ to others, which is a duty of godly men.
Men should also be financially stable. Paul calls us to not be lovers of money. What he means by this is we should provide for our families, but the extra money we have, we should be willing to give it for the sake of others. Naturally, we want to provide for our families, but we also want to have possessions that increase our quality of life. Personally, I feel like there is nothing wrong with that. If you tithe to the church and help your neighbors when they need it, then you are doing what God has called you to do. Many great men throughout the Bible had possessions. Abraham was fairly wealthy and Jacob had many possessions. What God is calling us to do is to offer our finances before him. Dedicate what you have to him first and then what is left, you can spend as you please.
Gentleness is one of the most rare traits for a man. As I stated earlier, it is the opposite of the societal expectation for men. In Galatians 5:22, Paul mentions it as one of the fruits of the spirit, as it was one of the characteristics of Christ. If we are to be gentle, we should be slow to anger and quick to apologize. Gentle men should not use violence or harsh words as a way to communicate to others.
Forgiveness can be hard for a lot of people. God created us with many emotions, with some being more prominent than others. Revenge and resentment are powerful emotions and have been the cornerstones of some of the most entertaining pieces of fiction ever written. Pretty much everyone (including me) is a sucker for a good revenge story. However, in real life, we are not to be vengeful. We are to forgive others as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Considering that mankind mocked, humiliated and murdered God's only son, we are called to a level of forgiveness that leaves no room for revenge. If someone wrongs us, we should be quick to forgive them, not repay them with sin.
Finally, a godly man should have a heart for teaching. According to the Consortium for Policy Research, only 24% of teachers in the US were males in 2012. Teaching is clearly not a forte for men in general. However, the Bible calls us to teach. How do we do this? Paul is not calling for men to go into the field of education, but to teach the youth and fellow men about Christ. As I said earlier, this doesn't have to be verbally. By applying the characteristics of Christ to your life, you will teach them through your actions. Encourage others to read their Bible and seek the Lord through prayer. These are the lessons Paul wants us to teach.
Both genders will read this, so I think there important messages for both. To the men, I encourage you to not just read this blog. Read the verses I've used and read the four gospels. The perfect man came to Earth a little over a millennia ago. Study Him and talk to Him through prayer. You may not land a role in the remake of The Wild Bunch, but you will live a joy-filled and content life. To the women, don't trust the societal view of men. Our culture wants to glorify immoral men who will only do what is pleasing to them without regard for others. Seek men who emulate these qualities. If you are married or in a relationship, hold your partner to these standards because these are also the standards that God holds men to. Your relationships will be more fulfilling and you will be much happier.
To all cowboys and cowgirls, peace by with y'all.
The Bible, however, paints a very different picture of what a man should be: kind, gentle, forgiving self-controlled, hospitable and pure. This is the exact opposite of what today's culture claims a man should be. Men today strive to be an "alpha male": harsh, detached, greedy and immoral. These stereotypes are perpetuated throughout culture. Society pushes the narrative that men need be like James Bond or Bruce Wayne. Since these "alpha male" characteristics are celebrated by the media and society at large, they have become the standard for manhood. Men strive to be strong, violent and detached animals, while women have become attracted to these characteristics because the world says this is what a real man is. These character traits have been the spearhead for the domestic abuse epidemic that has swept the nation over the last few decades. Based on 2018 statistics from the National Center Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 20 people are assaulted by an intimate partner every minute. 1 in 4 women have been abused by their male partners. Domestic violence accounts for 15% of all crime.
Clearly, this is not the way God intended for men to be. He intended for men to be like his son Jesus. For most Christians, they know the characteristics of Jesus. However, for new Christians and nonbelievers, the best place to find these characteristics are in 1 Timothy. In this passage, Paul lays out the defining characteristics of a godly man: desperation for Jesus, godliness, purity, self-control, hospitality, financial stability, gentleness, forgiveness and a heart for teaching.
First of all, a man needs to be desperate for Jesus (1 Tim 1;13-14). Paul explains that through Christ he has been given a new lease on life. Before his conversion, he openly persecuted Christians and ultimately Christ out of ignorance. However, after his conversion he has been filled with faith and love. In order to emulate these other characteristics of manhood, one must find Christ so that he may by given a new heart. Without love and faith, a man cannot be pure, self-controlled, hospitable or gentle.
In 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Paul outlines the other characteristics of a godly man. These all stem from the love that is given through Christ. The first is godliness. This part of the book is written to outline what a pastor should be like, but it applies to all men. We should be as godly as we would expect our pastor to be. Though we may not be preaching sermons, we all are ambassadors to Christ. We may not profess Christ with our mouths, but we can profess him through our actions. Thus, we should abstain from things that would be seen as things a Christians should not be doing. God gives us a conscience for this reason.
Purity is an important part of manhood. Paul phrases it as "a husband of one wife," but today's culture faces more impurities. We should be in monogamous relationships, but we should avoid all forms of sexually immorality. These include things that everyone knows is wrong, but a lot of them are normalized by society today. Basically, look back to 1950s morals: abstain from premarital sex, infidelity, pornography, etc.
Self-control should come natural to all men, but it is becoming less common with each generation. As men, we need to be able to be accountable for every word we say and every action we commit. Most abuse results from lack of control. Paul mentions mental sobriety and drunkenness in this passage as well. These are branches of the tree of self-control. If you cannot control yourself, abstain from alcohol and anything else that can be detrimental to your salvation and others if used incorrectly.
Hospitality is usually seen as the duty of women. Conservative thinkers see this as an excuse to make women prepare the home, but men have been called to this as well. As Christians we should commune with others in our homes as Matthew entertained Jesus in his home. Hospitality is a way to profess Christ through our actions. I have heard countless testimonies about how someone was drawn to the faith because a Christian invited them into their home and showed them the love of Christ. However, hospitality is not limited to the home. We can show the same hospitality in public to others by means of charity. These are all ways to show the love of Christ to others, which is a duty of godly men.
Men should also be financially stable. Paul calls us to not be lovers of money. What he means by this is we should provide for our families, but the extra money we have, we should be willing to give it for the sake of others. Naturally, we want to provide for our families, but we also want to have possessions that increase our quality of life. Personally, I feel like there is nothing wrong with that. If you tithe to the church and help your neighbors when they need it, then you are doing what God has called you to do. Many great men throughout the Bible had possessions. Abraham was fairly wealthy and Jacob had many possessions. What God is calling us to do is to offer our finances before him. Dedicate what you have to him first and then what is left, you can spend as you please.
Gentleness is one of the most rare traits for a man. As I stated earlier, it is the opposite of the societal expectation for men. In Galatians 5:22, Paul mentions it as one of the fruits of the spirit, as it was one of the characteristics of Christ. If we are to be gentle, we should be slow to anger and quick to apologize. Gentle men should not use violence or harsh words as a way to communicate to others.
Forgiveness can be hard for a lot of people. God created us with many emotions, with some being more prominent than others. Revenge and resentment are powerful emotions and have been the cornerstones of some of the most entertaining pieces of fiction ever written. Pretty much everyone (including me) is a sucker for a good revenge story. However, in real life, we are not to be vengeful. We are to forgive others as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). Considering that mankind mocked, humiliated and murdered God's only son, we are called to a level of forgiveness that leaves no room for revenge. If someone wrongs us, we should be quick to forgive them, not repay them with sin.
Finally, a godly man should have a heart for teaching. According to the Consortium for Policy Research, only 24% of teachers in the US were males in 2012. Teaching is clearly not a forte for men in general. However, the Bible calls us to teach. How do we do this? Paul is not calling for men to go into the field of education, but to teach the youth and fellow men about Christ. As I said earlier, this doesn't have to be verbally. By applying the characteristics of Christ to your life, you will teach them through your actions. Encourage others to read their Bible and seek the Lord through prayer. These are the lessons Paul wants us to teach.
Both genders will read this, so I think there important messages for both. To the men, I encourage you to not just read this blog. Read the verses I've used and read the four gospels. The perfect man came to Earth a little over a millennia ago. Study Him and talk to Him through prayer. You may not land a role in the remake of The Wild Bunch, but you will live a joy-filled and content life. To the women, don't trust the societal view of men. Our culture wants to glorify immoral men who will only do what is pleasing to them without regard for others. Seek men who emulate these qualities. If you are married or in a relationship, hold your partner to these standards because these are also the standards that God holds men to. Your relationships will be more fulfilling and you will be much happier.
To all cowboys and cowgirls, peace by with y'all.
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